After I had recorded my initial bunch of songs, I didn't have one that felt like it should be the last one on the album, so this song was made with that in mind, making it the only song on the album that was created for a specific reason.
lyrics
I think I've forgotten what it feels like
Emotions used to be my greatest allies
And now I fear that I can't trust mine at all
I could blow it all through with a haze but that's too easy
I can try to let it all go and forget that it ever happened
I don't think that I can do much of anything else now
I have 1 Red Heart lying on my desk
But I don't have any more
Sometimes...
Begging myself not to be tortured again
It always comes to that
No matter how hard I try
No matter how fast I run
My trust is gone
And now I wonder if it was ever there in the first place
You killed me
You tortured me
You let me down
And I'm helpless again
I don't want to remember what it feels like
Maybe it was better to not have any at all
Than to have lost what was once there
And I'm helpless again
And I'm falling again
But not in the way that you'd like...
credits
from Derry,
released February 1, 2011
Written and performed by Tyler King
Recorded in The Guest Room
An album in two parts; a coherent, optimistic first half, and a darker, depressing second half. This is the album that dreams and nightmares are made of, a plunge into the abyss with no way out. Tyler King
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